Manoj Nayak

Click here to download:

Memo.m4a (7076 KB)

Manoj

www.manojnayak.com

Sent from my iPhone, excuse the typo's

>
>
> I Like this Doctor! Hope you do too?
>
>
>
> Q: Doctor, I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life.
> Is this true?
> A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it... Don't
> waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up
> your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can
> extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live
> longer? Take a nap.
> Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
> A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay
> and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more
> than an efficient Mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system.
> Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass
> (green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your
> recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.
> Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
> A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine,
> That means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even > more
> of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up!
> Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
> A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to > one.
> If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.
> Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular
> exercise program?
> A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No > Pain...Good!
> Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
> A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!! ..... Foods are fried these days in
> vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting
> more vegetables be bad for you?
> Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around > the middle?
> A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You
> should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.
> Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
> A: Are you crazy? HELLO Cocoa beans ! Another vegetable!!! It's the
> best feel-good food around!
> Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
> A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.
> Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?
> A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape! Well, I hope this has cleared up any
> misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.
> And remember:
> 'Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention
> Of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body,
> But rather to skid in sideways -
> Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other -
> Body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and
> Screaming 'WOO HOO, What a Ride'
> AND.....
> For those of you who watch what you eat, here's the final word on
> nutrition and health. It's a relief to know the truth after all
> those conflicting nutritional studies.
> 1. The Japanese eat very little fat
> And suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
> 2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat
> And suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
> 3. The Chinese drink very little red wine
> And suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
> 4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine
> And suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
> 5. The Germans drink a lot of beers and eat lots of sausages and fats
> And suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
>
> CONCLUSION
> Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what > kills you.
>
> Cheers!
>
>
>
>

Click here to download:

Memo.m4a (1327 KB)

Manoj

www.manojnayak.com

Sent from my iPhone, excuse the typo's

 Hi guys,
Just loved reading this.  As they say............."The good old days."

 

For those of us who grew up during the 60s ~ early eighties in Middle Class India some of these would be ‘NOSTALGIA’

 

1.     You were very proud of your first "Bellbottom" or your first "Maxi".

2.     Phantom & Mandrake were your only true heroes. You can also nod your heads to names like Chandamama, Champak, Lot-Pot, Nandan. The brainy ones read "Competition Success Review".

 

3.     You took pride in turning to the back page of your latest Amar Chitra Katha and ticking off yet another title. How many ever you ticked, you still had many to go.

 

4.     Your "Camlin" geometry box & Flora pencil was your prized possession.  The only "Holidays" you took were to go to your grandparents' or your cousins' houses.

 

5.     Ice-cream meant - either an orange stick, a vanilla softy in a cone or at most - a Choco Bar if you lived in a swanky town.

 

6.     Your first family car (and the only one) was a Fiat. Or an Ambassador.

 

7.     The glass windows in the back seats used to get stuck at the two-thirds down level and used to irk  you! The window went down only if your puny arm could manage the tacky rotary handle to pull it down. Locking the door was easy. You just whacked the other tacky, non-rotary handle downwards.

 

8.     If your dad was the comfort loving kind, you had a magnificent small fan upfront, below which screwed to the board was the cassette player.

 

9.     You went to "Jumbo or Kamla Circus" ; and held your breath while the pretty young thing in the glittery skirt did acrobatics, quite enjoyed the elephants hitting football, the motorcyclist vrooming in the "Mautka Gola" and it was politically okay to laugh your guts out at dwarfs hitting each other’s bottoms.

 

10.  You have at least once heard "Hawa Mahal" & “Forces Request” on the radio.

 

11.  If you had a TV, it was normal to expect the neighborhood to gather around to watch the Chitrahaar or the Sunday movie. If you didn't have a TV, you just went to a house that did.

 

12.  Sometimes the owners of these TVs got very creative and got a bi or even a tri-coloured anti-glare screen which they attached with two side clips onto their Weston TVs. That confused the hell out of you!

 

13.  You thought your Dad rocked because you got your own (the family's ; not your own!) colour TV when the Asian Games started. Everyone else got the same idea as well and ever since, no one came over to your house and you didn't go to anyone else's.

 

14.   You dreaded the death of any political leader because of the mourning they would announce on the TV. After all how much "Shashtriya Sangeet" can a kid take? Salma Sultana also didn't smile during the mourning.

 

15.  The only "Gadgets" in the house were the TV, the Fridge and the Mixie. All the gadgets had to be duly covered with a crochet covers and sometimes even with ingenious, custom-fit plastic covers.

 

16.  Movies meant Amitabh Bachan. Before the start of the movie you always had to watch the obligatory “newsreel".

 

17.  You thought you were so rocking because you knew almost all the songs of Abba and Boney M.

 

18.   You had a turntable "stereo" and a collection of LP Records. Your hormones went crazy when you bought "Disco Deewane" by Naziya Hassan & Zoheb Hassan.

 

19.  You couldn't contain your happiness when you suddenly had knowledge of Grammy awards and Tina Turner, Cyndi Lauper & OMG even Michael Jackson became familiar names.

 

20.  School teachers, your parents and even your neighbors could whack you and it was all okay.

 

21.  Photograph taking was a big thing. You were lucky if your family owned a camera. A reel of 36 exposures was valuable hence it justified the half hour preparation & "setting" & the "posing" for each picture. Therefore, you have at least one family picture where everyone is holding their breath and standing at attention!

 

22.  Long train trips, with water stored in metal canteens, or earthen jars – bottled water was almost non-existent.  Food was either packed from home, and shared with your ‘compartment mates’, whoever they might be. Additionally, each station had their own specialty food.

 

23.  Dressing up for movies meant shoes, ‘long pants’ and a ‘bush’ shirt – and Hollywood in those days meant wholesome family entertainment like  “the sound of music” and 'more wholesome'  WW2 fare like “where eagles dare”... I bet both movies have been seen by all of us at least 3 times, that too in a theater.

 

24.  Someone mentioned the mandatory news film reel – we also had the national anthem played  at the end of every movie – the practice stopped sometime in the late 70s (?).

 

25.  The closest we had to a reality show was Binaca geet mala on Radio Ceylon at 7.30(?) on Wednesday evenings – Distinctly remember when “om shanti om” from Karz made it to the top.  A big part of the “radio Ceylon” experience was trying to get the antenna strung up just right, so that we had decent reception.  No, the radio was not Dolby 7.1 surround sound.

 

26.  Elections were fun, since DD showed movies 24x7 between quick and efficient election updates – no endless analysis and re-analysis of poll results by talking heads.

 

27.  Tea breaks during Cricket matches had this quirky German (I forget the name) show that showed these fun games between towns.

 

28.  Outside the Cinema, the only way to watch movies was the occasional B&W projector that magically appeared every once in a while at the neighborhood park or ground, and showed B&W Raj Kapoor and Dev Anand movie reruns.

 

29.  Phantom sweet cigarettes – who can forget those? That was the way to look cool in school – walk around with these dangling from the side of your mouth with the meanest Clint Eastwoodish smile.

 

30.  Phone numbers were 4 digits (at least where I lived as a child!), and easy to memorize.

 

31.  You could play with anyone, anywhere and your parents didn’t mind, as long as you got home on time.  (seeing middle class kids confined to their own society walls across housing societies across most of the country, is a bit disquieting).

This should be posted in all schools and work places. Love him or hate him, he sure hits the nail on the head with this! Bill Gates recently gave a speech at a High School about 11 things they did not and will not learn in school. He talks about how feel-good, politically correct teachings created a generation of kids with no concept of reality and how this concept set them up for failure in the real world. Rule 1: Life is not fair - get used to it! Rule 2: The world won't care about your self-esteem. The world will expect you to accomplish something BEFORE you feel good about yourself. Rule 3: You will NOT make $60,000 a year right out of high school. You won't be a vice-president with a car phone until you earn both. Rule 4: If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a boss. Rule 5: Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your Grandparents had a different word for burger flipping: they called it opportunity. Rule 6: If you mess up, it's not your parents' fault, so don't whine about your mistakes, learn from them. Rule 7: Before you were born, your parents weren't as boring as they are now. They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes and listening to you talk about how cool you thought you were. So before you save the rain forest from the parasites of your parent's generation, try delousing the closet in your own room. Rule 8: Your school may have done away with winners and losers, but life HAS NOT. In some schools, they have abolished failing grades and they'll give you as MANY TIMES as you want to get the right answer. This doesn't bear the slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life. Rule 9: Life is not divided into semesters. You don't get summers off and very few employers are interested in helping you FIND YOURSELF. Do that on your own time. Rule 10: Television is NOT real life. In real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs. Rule 11: Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one. If you agree, pass it on. If you can read this - Thank a teacher!

______________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________

NEVER ASSUME THAT MEN UNDERSTAND.                        A woman was in a coma. She had been in it for months. Nurses were in her room giving her a bed bath. One of them was washing her private area and noticed that there was a slight response on the monitor whenever she touched her there. They tried it again and sure enough, there was definite movement.   They went to her husband and explained what happened, telling him, 'As crazy as this sounds, maybe a little 'Oral sex' will do the trick & bring  her out of the coma.' The husband was skeptical, but they assured him that they would close the curtains for privacy.   The husband finally agreed and went into his wife's room. After a few minutes the woman's monitor flat lined, no pulse, no heart rate. The nurses run back into the room. 'What happened!?' they cried.   The husband said, 'I'm not sure; maybe she choked.'