Manoj Nayak

trivia,jokes,links,email forwards and anything passe! 

Need Blood helpline

Now it has become easier to get the blood we need. All you have to do is just type 

"BLOOD <Needed Blood Group> and send SMS to 96000 97000" 

EX: " BLOOD B+ " 

A BLOOD DONOR WILL CALL YOU!! 

So please pass this message to all. It certainly would save many lives. 

It’s a Must to Know & Share. Do it now.... 

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A Jazz Chord


Stevie Wonder is playing his 1st gig in China and the place is packed to the rafters. In a bid to break the ice he asks if anyone has a request.
One chap jumps out of his seat in the 1st row and shouts at the top of his voice "Play a jazz chord! Play a jazz chord!"
Amazed that this guy knows about the jazz influences in Stevie's career, the blind impresario starts to play an E minor scale and then goes into a difficult jazz melody for about 10 minutes. When he finishes the whole place goes wild.
The chap jumps out of his seat again and shouts - "No, no, play a jazz chord, play a jazz chord..."
A bit cheesed off by this, Stevie, being the professional he is, dives straight in to a jazz improvisation with his band around the B flat minor chord and really tears the place apart. The crowd go ballistic with this impromptu show of his musical expertise. But, still the little Chinese man jumps up again and shouts "No, no. Play a jazz chord, play a jazz chord!!!" Stevie is really peeved off now that this chap doesn't seem to appreciate his playing ability and shouts to him from the stage - "OK smart a*s, you get up here and do it"...
The little bloke climbs onto the stage, takes hold of the mike and starts to sing...
"A jazz chord... to say..., I ruv you..."
 
HAPPY SINGING
 
 
 

 

 

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Turner Brown (even funnier hahahaha....)



A skinny little white guy goes into an elevator, looks up and sees
this HUGE black guy standing next to him.
 
The big black guy sees the little white guy staring at him, looks down and says,
"7 feet tall, 300 pounds, 12 inch member, 1 pound left testicle, 1 pound right testicle, Turner Brown."
 
The white man faints and falls to the floor.
 
The big guy kneels down and brings him to, shaking him.
 
The big guy says, "What's wrong with you?
 
In a weak voice the little guy says, "What EXACTLY did you say to me?"
 
The big dude says, "I saw your curious look and figured I'd just give you the answers to
the questions everyone always asks me, I'm 7 feet tall, I weigh 300 pounds, I have a 12 inch private,
my left testicle weighs 1 pound, my right testicle weighs 1 pound, and my name is Turner Brown."
 
The small guy, now visibly relieved, says, "Turner Brown ... Sweet Jesus, I thought you said, Turn Around !!!"
 
 
 

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Tension hi tension(quite funny...hee, hee....)


Ladki ne aapse lift mangi,
Raste mein uski tabiat kaharab ho gai.
Aapko TENSION !!

Aap hospital le  gaye,
Doctor bola - aap baap banne wale ho
Aapko TENSION !!

Aap  bole - Mai is bacche ka baap nahi !
Phir ladki se pucha
Ladki boli - yehi baap hai.
Aapko aur TENSION.

Phir police ayi
Aapka medical check up  hua.
Report aayi.
Aap to kabhi baap hi nahi ban sakte.
Aapko aur TENSION !!

Aap ne khuda ka shukar ada kiya aur aap khushi khushi ghar gaye !
Phir socha ke ghar pe jo bachchay hai
Wo kiske  hai...????????
Phir shuru ho gayee TENSION !!!!!!

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Why Condoms are Packed 3, 6, 12 to a Box?


 


.



 

!!!

 



 
 

Why Condoms are Packed 3, 6, 12 to a Box?



A man walks into a drug store with his 8-year old son. They
happen to walk by the condom display, and the boy asks, "What are these,
Dad?"

To which the man matter-of-factly replies, "Those are called
condoms, son. Men use them to have safe sex."

"Oh, I see," replied the boy pensively. "Yes, I've heard of that
in health class at school."



He looks over the display and asks, "Why are there 3 in this
package?"

The dad replies, "Those are for high school boys. One for Friday,
one for Saturday, and one for Sunday."

"Cool!" says the boy. He notices a 6 pack and asks, "Then who
are these for?"

"Those are for college men." the dad answers. "Two for Friday,
two for Saturday, and two for Sunday."

"WOW!" exclaimed the boy, "then who uses THESE?" he asks, picking
up a 12 pack.

With a sigh, the dad replied, "Those are for married men. One
for January, one for February, one for March........"
 
  
 


   
Click here to download:
Why_Condoms_are_Packed_3_6_12_.zip (19 KB)

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One awesome view of Mumbai





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CYCLE STOLEN

Hi all
>
> My firefox reloaded 2.1 was stolen last night (09/Jun) from outside > avlon park in hiranandani gardens, powai. The bike was white and red > in colour, with front and rear trek lamps, a trek 5 in 1 > speedometer, and the wheels were from the viper model, with front > and rear disc brakes.
>
> Please keep your eyes open and if you see it, do call me immediately > on 9833824520.
>
> The cycle was very dear to me. Pls help
>
>
> Cheers
> Tarun
>

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Men!! Women would love this !



1. WHY DO MEN BECOME SMARTER DURING SEX?
(because they are plugged into a genius) -love this one

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2. WHY DON'T WOMEN BLINK DURING SEX?

(they don't have enough time)

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3. WHY DOES IT TAKE 1 MILLION SPERM TO FERTILIZE ONE EGG?

(they don't stop to ask directions)

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4. WHY DO MEN SNORE WHEN THEY LIE ON THEIR BACKS?

(because their balls fall over their butt-hole and they vapor lock)

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5. WHY WERE MEN GIVEN LARGER BRAINS THAN DOGS?

(so they won't hump women's legs at cocktails parties)

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6. WHY DID GOD MAKE MEN BEFORE WOMEN?

(you need a rough draft before you make a final copy)

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7. HOW MANY MEN DOES IT TAKE TO PUT A TOILET SEAT DOWN?

(don't know.....it never happened)

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And the personal favorite:

8. WHY DID GOD PUT MEN ON EARTH?

(because a vibrator can't mow the lawn)

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Remember, if you haven't got a smile on your face and
laughter in your heart...
Then you are just an old sour fart
!
-----------------------------------------------

Q: Why do little boys whine?
A: They are practicing to be men.
---------------------------------------------

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A new form of Rape and Dont accept even visiting cards - true sto



 

A NEW FORM OF RAPE!

(This is a true story)

The woman left the office after working hours and saw a little child crying on the road. Feeling pity for the child, she went to ask what happened.
The child said, 'I am lost. Can you take me home please?' Then the child gave her a slip of paper and tells the woman where the address is..
 
The woman, being an average kind person who, didn't suspect anything took the child there. And there when they arrived at the 'child's home', the kind hearted woman pressed the door bell and she was electrocuted as the bell was wired with high voltage, and fainted.
 
The next day when she woke up, she found herself in an empty house up in the hills, naked. Condoms were all thrown around! She has not even seen her assailants.
 
That's why nowadays crimes are targeted on kind people like her. If you are in a similar situation take the child to the police
station. Lost children are best sent to police stations. Please send this to all your female friends/colleagues, and your friends with girlfriends
and friends with wives. It is better to receive this a thousand times than be a victim once!


Please pass this on to family members, friends and co-workers... 

 
=================================


Share with your sisters, daughters, nieces, mothers, and female friends. This Incident has been confirmed.

A man came over and offered his services as a painter to a female putting petrol in her car and left his card. She said no ,but accepted his card out of kindness and got in the car. The man then got into a car driven by another gentleman As the lady left the service station, she saw the men following her out of the station at the same time. Almost immediately, she started to feel dizzy and could not catch her breath. She tried to open the window and realized that the odour was on her hand; the same hand which accepted the card from the gentleman at the service station.

She then noticed the men were immediately behind her and she felt she needed to do something at that moment. She drove into the first driveway and began to honk her horn repeatedly to ask for help. The men drove away but the lady still felt pretty bad for several minutes after she could finally catch her breath. Apparently, there was a substance on the card that could have seriously injured her..
This drug is called 'BURUNDANGA' and it is used by people who wish to incapacitate a victim in order to steal from or take advantage of them.
This drug is four times more dangerous than the date rape drug and is transferable on simple cards..
So take heed and make sure you don't accept cards at any given time alone or from someone on the streets. This applies to those making house calls and slipping you a card when they offer their services.
http://in.business.yahoo.com/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">

 





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Sterling And Wilson Electricals Pvt Ltd, Mumbai, India


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eMOON someone today (Assicons)


 


 

 

 

We all know those cute little computer symbols called 'emoticons,' where: 

:) means a smile and 

:( is a frown. 

Sometimes these are represented by 

:-) 

:-( 

Well, how about some 'ASSICONS?' 
Here goes: 


(_!_) a regular ass 


(__!__) a fat ass 


(!) a tight ass 


(_*_) a sore ass 


{_!_} a swishy ass


(_x_) kiss my ass 


(_X_) leave my ass alone 


(_zzz_) a tired ass 


(_E=mc2_) a smart ass 


(_$_) Money coming out of his ass 


(_?_) Dumb Ass 

You have just been e-mooned! Send 
this to 5 people within the next hour and you will be blessed with people laugh ing at your email. 

This is NOT a chain letter, so if you don't mail it out, you won't have bad luck.

But who wouldn't want to eMoon a friend?
 
 
 


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